I tried this last Christmas, worked for days in the kitchen, only for my husband to get a phone call one hour prior to dinner that his daughter was sick and couldn't make it..her family was going to come. When the outings aren't sucessfull, meaning not everyone shows up or if we don't see them for awhile then she lays on a guilt trip to her father..stating we just don't get to see one another. I told my husband when we married that we would have to live in my house (I already had it paid for) that I couldn't live in his house that he shared with his wife.
From there things have continued to go downhill at a rapid pace.” Lorain’s experience is not uncommon, nor is her idealistic assumption that a marriage with adult children who no longer live in the home will not be impacted by the dynamics of loss and loyalty.
Thankfully, adult children and stepparents do not have the same power battles that younger stepfamilies experience because the stepparent is not trying to get the children to pick up their socks or choose better friends.
Most people are very surprised to learn that adult stepfamilies, that is, those that are formed in the second-half of life and include adult stepchildren, have just as many transitions as stepfamilies with younger children.
Some of the transitional issues are different, but many are the same.
They can be as rich, warm, loving and wonderful as any other family.
No family is smooth sailing all the time but the dynamics of a stepfamily present challenges at the start that are unique.What I hadn't realised, in my excitement, was just how demanding or complex becoming a second wife would be.For the first 18 months of our relationship, our blissful highs were punctuated by damning lows, raging arguments and periods of hyper-insecurity.I was 49 when I married for the first time; my husband was 55. My husband kept his children up to date about our relationship and things were pretty civil until we married.A few months later one of the children asked how my husbands will was structured implying that I shouldnt get anything.I hadn't envisaged I'd have to navigate such lonely and inhospitable terrain.