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He then spent several years sparring with judges and protesting the judicial process to the point where he was sentenced to 15 months in jail for disrespecting the court after publishing names of witnesses online.

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A simple selfie taken by two young Olympic gymnasts has already become one of the iconic moments of the Rio games.

So when a car accident leaves him suddenly asymmetrical, his left arm amputated, looking on the bright side just isn’t something he’s equipped to do.

Forced to return to his boyhood home to recuperate, Aaron is confronted with an aging father (a former Olympic biathlete turned hoarder), a mother whose chosen to live in a yurt with a fireman 12 years her junior, and a well-meaning sister whose insufferable husband proves love isn’t just blind, but also painfully stupid.

Pressured to do something — anything — to move his life forward, he takes the only job he can get.

As a “fish counter” at the nearby dam, he concludes that an act of violent sacrifice to liberate the river might be his best, final option.

haha = I'm acknowledging that you've said something you perceive to be funny, though I don't find it particularly funny myself.2. = I am weary and loathe to laugh, but here, you have forced it upon me; OR: I hate you.3. = I am pleasantly surprised to learn you are capable of modest humor.4. mwahaha = I am very optimistic about my own evil plans, and possibly an actually bad person, and not a great speller. heehee = I have done something mildly transgressive.18. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (etc.) = I am starting to panic that I may never stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol (sent from i Phone) = The above, but with an added element of Autocorrect shame.

muahaha = I am very optimistic about my own evil plans, and possibly an actually bad person.16. I want this sentence/conversation to be over but lack the wherewithal to end it directly, with purpose; I want to admit to a feeling but lack the conviction; I want to tell you how you've hurt me but want more to pretend I am invincible; I want to laugh, really laugh, but do not remember how; OR, maybe: that was funny, whatever.29.

HA = Vengeance and/or justice has been served appropriately.9. rofl = I am an extraterrestrial who learned to approximate human language by scanning millions of pages of AOL chat logs collected in the early 2000s. roflcopter = I am a police officer working the undercover teen drug-use chatroom circuit. lollerskates/lollercoaster = Sometime between 20 I was a starred internet forum poster, and someone I chatted with regularly — someone a little older, whom I looked up to, someone with lots of x's in his/her username — used this word, and I was overcome by impossible coolness.

teehee = I have done something mildly transgressive and I think it's adorable.19. I legitimately laughed, or at least smiled, and I am slightly happier now than I was before you just said that.20. I did not mean to be so formal; I wanted it clear how little I cared.30.

As Aaron tries to make the world around him disappear in a haze of Vicodin and medical marijuana, the only true joy in his life comes from daily 90-second radio spots of fun science facts: The speed of falling raindrops, batteries made out of starfish, and sexual responses triggered by ringtones — all told in the lush, disembodied voice of commentator Sunny Lee, with whom he falls helplessly, ridiculously, in love.